Placid

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Dread crawled its way into my mind with every passing minute as my trip was days away now. The fact that he was in town was clear as day. And the chance of me running into him was as distinct as the wave raised about to crash. It was inevitable. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach, deeper with every thought into the abyss of anticipation of what might happen and fear that it might not. Bewildered was an understatement for what I was feeling. I couldn't phantom as to how the events would unfold.

What will he do? Will he say anything? Smile? Or just be as placid towards me as I imagine myself to be?

Will this encounter impel him to think or will I just be someone he met on the way? Was it any different now or was it the same? Does he feel like talking to me? Did he ever? What if he does approach me? How will I react? How am I supposed to react? Be cool and pretend everything is fine? Or choose my words and say little? Or do I just stay as placid as I imagine myself to be?

Does he miss me? Does he ever think about me? Do I want to know the answer to that? But If I had to guess what would I assume? He doesn't? But what if he does? Should I ask him? Or remain as placid a I imagine myself to be?

Does he wish to hear from me? Does he smile upon recalling those late night chats we had? Is it just me? Should I reminiscence any one of those memories? Joke maybe? Or appear as placid as I imagine myself to be?

Has anything changed since our last conversation? Does he feel anything for me?  Do I still love him? Did I ever love him? It is really love what I feel for him? Do I voice out my befuddled state? Or just be as be as placid as I imagine myself to be?

Should I let those tears fall pooling at the corner of my eyes? Do I let the sob get past my throat? Or try to be as placid as I imagined myself to be?

Do I just wrap my hands around him hoping I would feel his around me? Do I stain his shirt with my love? Or strive to be as placid as I imagined myself to be?

Do I ram my lips onto his whispering my love to his soul in the loudest of the screams hoping maybe, just maybe this time those words echoed back to me? Or just walk away as placid I imagined myself to be?

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